so I had this weird waking-dream thing last night

and it was about all these occultists all being high school students at the same school

Crowley was the king of hipsters and was always smoking cigarettes in the halls and making out with just about everybody to piss the teachers off.

Gardner was a really nerdy dude who had a bunch of really nerdy followers and they were always sneaking out on the football field late at night and accidentally burning circles into it.

Cochrane was the way too intense guy who stole all the frogs from the science lab and spoke gibberish at anybody who tried to stop him from doing anything. No one was his friend but there was a group of middle school girls who secretly worshipped him. He also tried to fight Gardner every morning before class, but it never actually happened.

Anton LaVey was the really wimpy dude who got picked on incessantly through Freshman year, then came back from summer with a tattoo and a shaved head and a college-age girlfriend and a band.

Edgar Allen Poe was even there, even though he’s from the wrong time period. He dressed up as Edward from Twilight but didn’t tell anyone that’s what he was doing. He would just smear body glitter all over his giant head everyday and glare at everyone. The guidance counselor thought he was trying to make some kind of gay pride statement and kept encouraging him to start a Gay-Straight Alliance chapter, but Poe would just make a dramatic face and run away without saying anything.

Austin Osman Spare was king of the art department but the school wouldn’t let him display his art in any of the school art shows because there were just too many titties.

It’s Satyrday, time to revelate. I’ve got hazelnut shortbread covered with a unsweetened chocolate ganache, the best of Gogol Bordello and way too much coffee.